Disagree & Embrace

I just had lunch with a dear friend and mentor. Eric Rust was my youth pastor when I was in high school. In 2001 I moved from Clovis, CA to Sandpoint, ID to serve as music pastor in the church he was starting, Cedar Hills. I left that role in December of 2007. Since then, I’ve never reconnected with a church. I’ve attended several from time to time; I’ve listened to podcasts; read (ok, listened to) countless books including the Bible; and discussed spirituality, Christian and otherwise, with countless friends and acquaintances. Our lunch (and the recent Sunday morning I spent at Cedar Hills with my folks when they were visiting) reminded me of my respect for Eric. He is committed to and loves the local church. It appears that to him, it is the truest expression of Christ-centered community in our world today. In recent years, Cedar Hills (and he as its leader) has walked through several challenges. One of these was comprised of a group of insiders with a strong conviction that the church needed to embrace a more fundamentalist posture and that Eric needed to resign if he wouldn’t acquiesce. Don’t worry—he didn’t cave and the coup failed. Listening to his recount of the ordeal was refreshing. He spoke of doctrine, conviction, and opinion—the nomenclature he has adopted to contextualize and categorize different issues faced by practicing Christians. Per his comments, Cedar Hills has limited itself to a handful (~5) of doctrines, which are the non-negotiable beliefs about the truth of the Gospel. Convictions are globally negotiable but very important to the community of Cedar Hills. An example of a conviction might be that all sin is equal—an unruly temper will disqualify one from church leadership as quickly as a cocaine habit. Opinions (as the title suggests) are inconsequential preferences. I was encouraged by his words and his spirit. He reminded me that there are still churches in America that are refusing to pick up arms in the culture wars of COVID masks and unisex bathrooms. Almost more refreshing than this refusal to engage in the “us vs. them” battles that have become the norm in America, was the fact that he (they) still hold to many traditional Christian values and norms. This is not to say that I share many of these beliefs (probably few, if any) but that he is modeling and championing the ability to “disagree and embrace” that seems damn near extinct in modern (American?) society. One’s ability to maintain a core value or belief in the face of opposition while still metaphorically embracing (engaging in relationship with) the “other” is a critical (I can’t think of a more intense word, but it’s critical on the level of blood to the human body) aspect to any group/community/society that is 1) comprised of more than a handful of people; 2) has a desire to live with some level of peace and equanimity; and 3) does not want to live within a facist or dictatorial model of governance. People are complex and fluid and fickle. There will always be disparate perspectives and issues upon which we disagree, even with those closest to us. We may often suppress these perspectives for the sake of peace, but this does not make them any less real. And short of abandoning the belief or value at the heart of our perspectives, the only other option to coexist (and dare I say thrive?) together is to have the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual capacity to simultaneously embrace our belief and our neighbor who does not share it. I couldn’t even begin to count the number or quantify the significance of the evolutions of my ideas, beliefs, and values, over the (relatively) short 44 years I’ve been a person in the world. This awareness is helpful when it comes time to embrace those with whom I disagree. After all, if I was having a conversation with my younger (or older) self, I would often be faced with the same dilemma. And while I have (and will) be responsible for many regrettable decisions, comments, and actions throughout my life, I’m grateful for who and where I am today and the path on which I tread with all its hassles, challenges, and opportunities surrounded by partners, adversaries, mentors, and trolls.