10.09.2006

i'm such a judgemental jerk, but getting better

as i was driving to work this morning, a guy i know drove past me going the other way. he was driving a new truck. i don't know how new, but i know it's not the truck he used to drive. it was bigger and shinier than his previous truck.

i'm ashamed to say that my first response was to think, "shame on him...buying into the lie that he needs a bigger better truck just so that he can drive the 5 miles from home to work. the payment on that thing must be ridiculous. why does he want to get his family into suck ridiculous debt just for stupid truck?"

just as my judgemental vortex crescendoed, i realized, "hmmm...jen and i drive a pretty nice car, but it was a gift. maybe his truck was a gift. maybe he's been saving for a long time and paiod cash for it. maybe it was an inheritance." as my mind pondered the myriad explanations of how this guy (who as you may have guessed, wasn't my favorite person to begin with) could be driving this newer, bigger, better truck beside the reasons i disapporved of, i beagna to feel a sense of conviction.

"who am i to judge him? i don't know the story. i haven't even spoken with this guy in months. i don't know what he values. maybe debt is no big deal to him. maybe he's richer than i thought."

the point is that i was confronted with the ugliness of myself as i sat there in the car listening to the polyphonic spree. i'm glad the mirror was revealed to me for a moment this morning. it wsn't thie first time i entertained such thoughts, and i'm sure it won't be the last. i just pray that i get better and better at recognizing those ridiculous attitudes before they go on for so long.

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